The Reading Monk

I am a runner. I run about 5 km everyday after work. I’ve been doing this since 2001.

Running is addictive. When I don’t run, I feel sluggish and grouchy. And I find it hard to fall asleep at night. But there are also days when I find it hard to put on my running shoes and hit the asphalt and those days can sometimes stretch for a week or so, and I usually end up feeling very guilty for not exercising.

I was thinking about this and Haruki Murakami’s book “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running” yesterday as I ran my 5k, and thought why not write about what goes through my mind when I’m running. So here goes – some of the things I usually think about:

1. I want to turn around and go home. One of the hardest thing about running is the perseverance; the will power to push on another metre and another and another. That is why I don’t run on a treadmill but on the road. Because when you’re on a treadmill you can just as easily hop off as you hopped on whereas with running on the road, I know I must run to get home, so the farther I run from home, the farther I must also run to get home. It’s all about mental strength and discipline. I put myself in a situation where I must do what I don’t want to do in order to get to where I want to go. It’s also about tuning out that little nagging voice in my mind that tells me to take a shortcut, go home and tuning into more positive thoughts. In other words, when I run, I don’t think about running.
2. Imagine if I could sing like this. I run with my iPod on and I listen to my favourite tunes. I usually switch to Michael Buble and Renee Olstead once I hit cruising speed. “Cruising speed” is how I describe that zone my mind is in where I am no longer conscious of the fact that I am running but am enjoying the view and the music; where my running stride matches the tempo of the music. That’s when I know my mind is no longer affected by anything physical. I don’t feel pain anymore. I don’t feel tired. My mind is elsewhere as my body runs. I usually imagine myself singing along to the tunes from my iPod and picture myself on stage crooning away and when I do that, I’m sure a stupid smirk must appear on my sweaty face. But main thing is, I am cruising.
3. Work, work, work. Most of the time, I run in order to forget. To stop thinking about stressful things in my life because running frees my mind from these negative things. I burn up all the negativity within me. But sometimes, I run so that my mind can step back, re-look and solve some of these problems that I may have. There have been many times when I’ve drafted legal documents, arguments and court submissions in my mind while running. It is less stressful and I achieve two things at once – exercising and finishing my office work.
4. Don’t Make Eye Contact With the Guards in the Towers. Towards the last kilometer, I must run past my town’s prison facility. It is the only prison and was built in the 1950s. Back then, the area would’ve been considered to be the town’s outskirts but with the passing years and the accompanying development, the facility is now very near to the centre of town and easily visible from my backyard. On all four corners are guard towers with their massive search lights and guards armed with rifles. As I run past below these towers, the guards look down at me suspiciously. Walk, and they start to think you’re up to no good. Look up at them, and they stare back at you very coldly. So I just run as quickly as I can and look down at the road. It is a long stretch along the 20 foot walls and I can hear the inmates inside. I’ve had the chance to go inside on a few occasions, accompanying my colleagues to meet and interview inmates accused of murder. Living (and working) conditions are cramped and I felt claustrophobic after half an hour in there.
5. Think Happy Thoughts. Think about the Weekend. I hate Mondays but love Fridays and Saturdays. During the working week, I am happy on Thursdays and happiest on Fridays. Thinking about and planning what to do on the weekends distracts me from the actual running. But to be honest, I don’t do much on weekends except read and take care of my baby girl … and the occasional movie on dvd.
6. Think about the Meaning of my Life. I guess the one thing that I think about the most when I run is my life. I think about where I am headed to, about my dreams and things I want to achieve. I wonder about fate and destiny, and almost always when I think about this, I deliberately take a different turning and run a longer route … as if to turn my thoughts on chance and destiny into action. Was I destined to turn into this road anyway? Or did I just alter my life’s direction by this act?

And when I stop to think of the above, I start to think about running again. By then, I am almost home. The last few meters are the most difficult as my body feels like giving up and just walking home instead. But this is the most crucial part, where I must overcome that urge to give up. I press on and I run harder, pounding on the road until I reach the gates of my house. And I look back, feeling tired .. but proud.

In so many ways, running can be a metaphor for life. You start off with an idea. A plan. A mission. And you embark on it. Your goal lies at the end of the path that you’re on. You work your way towards it. Sometimes you hit road bumps and obstacles, but you think your way through these things. Using positive thoughts, you overcome them. And you press on until the end is in sight. You persevere. You don’t give up.

And in the end, you triumph because you focused on finishing what you started.